Actually...

The very best thing about married life is knowing I am loved~even when I am completely, totally, absolutely unlovable.

The Perfect Saturday Football Post

I've been tagged by Dana! Ladies, enjoy reading about Our Romance while your husband watches football for the next 12 hours.


♥ What are your middle names?
Michael and Ormsby--I kept my maiden name as my middle name.

♥How long have you been together?
Ben and I went on our first date to a fraternity party on December 5, 2003. After I saw his lions and lambs, puff-paint, x-small Christmas sweatshirt it was over. Does anyone else remember this?

♥ How long did you know each other before you started dating?
This is the best part of our story. Ben and I have known each other since elementary school. We attended the same church, same middle school (Ben was actually my sister's first middle school boyfriend!), same high school, and same college. But, we didn't go on our first date until my senior year of college.

♥ Who asked who out?
Ben asked me to the Sigma Chi Christmas Party. He was fresh off the plane from England!

♥ Who made the first move?
Ben looked into my eyes and I looked into his...the move was mutual.

♥ How old are each of you?
Ben just turned 27 and I'm 28. The worst months in the year are the months when I appear to be two whole years older than Ben. We are actually 15 months apart--the same distance in age as me and my sister.

♥ Did you go to the same school?
Yes: middle school, high school, college, and graduate school!

♥ Are you from the same home town?
Yes.

♥ Who is the smartest?
I would like to think there is some area in life where I know more than Ben. This is just not true. I like to read, I like to write, I have a Master's degree. Ben missed 9 questions on the LSAT.

♥ Who majored in what?
Lynn--English and Journalism
Ben--History and Political Science

♥ Who is the most sensitive?
Ben is increasingly sensitive, but I once cried during a TV movie that I turned on 5 minutes prior. I will never live that one down. So, I win.

♥ Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Ben has a theory that the crappier the Mexican restaurant, the better the food. We frequent Cielito Lindo, a Mexican restaurant housed in an old McDonald's. Proof the theory is true--The food is amazing!

♥ Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
From Lexington to Tuscaloosa, from Tuscaloosa to Asheville, from Asheville to Lexington...in four days!

♥ Who has the worst temper?
Tilly (our dog) won't stay in the same room when Ben is watching a game (any game) on television. Ben wins!

♥ How many children do you want?
Ben wants [zero to] two; I want three. We'll just have to see who wins:)

♥ Who does the cooking?
I'm sure that Ben would tell you that one of the best things about being married is that he hasn't been in charge of an entire meal (yes, he grills) for two years. I would tell you that one of the best things about being married is that I haven't washed a dish for two years.

♥ Who is more social?
We can both be loners. When we are with a law school crowd, Ben is pretty talkative. I am a completely new person when I get to spend time with Samford friends!

♥ Who is the neat-freak?
I am. I am especially OCD about making the bed. I often clean to relieve anxiety. I know, too much information...

♥ Who is the most stubborn?
I don't think I'm that stubborn. I also don't think Ben is that stubborn. I have a feeling that he would have answered that question differently.

♥ Who wakes up earlier?
Me! Me! I have to be in my car before 7:00 am, ready for my 30-minute commute and my 7:45 am journalism class. Ben gets up at 8:00 and is at work 20 minutes later.

♥ Where was your first date?
Sigma Chi house--Tacky Office Christmas Party

♥ Who has the bigger family?
Ben!

♥ Do you get flowers often?
In almost 6 years, Ben gave me flowers once. Instead, he buys me good CDs:)

♥ How do you spend the holidays?
We spend all holidays in London (KY). We somehow find a way to see both sets of parents, all our siblings and the grandparents in one weekend.

♥ Who is more jealous?
Me:(

♥ How long did it take to get serious?
Dana, I bet you're dying to read my answer...Ben told me he loved me after 3 years together. That's when we became serious, but we did have a good relationship before that. I don't recommend this to every girl, but for me Ben was DEFINITELY worth the wait!

♥ Who eats more?
Ben, no contest.

♥ What do you do for a living?
I'm a high school English teacher; Ben is an attorney.

♥ Who does the laundry?
Me...Ben shrunk one of my favorite shirts the first week we were married and hasn't done laundry since.

♥ Who’s better with the computer?

Ben--he actually has to edit all my writing, download all my pictures to the computer, and upload images to my blog or facebook. DeLaune' used to do all this for me, too.

♥ Who drives when you are together?
Last year I went to a wedding in Northern Kentucky and Ben stayed in Lexington for another wedding. You would have thought I was driving across America. Ben had to print off directions for the rehearsal dinner, back to the hotel, to the wedding, to the reception, and back to Lexington. I know that's lame so I'm trying to be more adventurous now.

♥ What is "your" song?
We danced to the Van Morrison/Bob Dylan version of "Crazy Love" at our wedding, but I'm not sure if that is "our song." Many songs and many artists remind me of Ben and different times in our relationship. I love that.

2 Books to Change your Life

Now it's time to step it up. I reviewed a few short stories at the beginning of the week, but today I would like to suggest a few novels to our (very few) readers.

As an English major at Samford, I read ALL THE TIME. Reading was my job, but I didn't always enjoy what I read. Since graduation, I have had some time to read the books that I wanted to read. Which, if you ask any English major, is a luxury. Sadly, it's a luxury I don't always give my own students--that's a post for a later date.

My biggest fear in writing this post is that I've been moved by a book that is uninteresting to others. But, to be honest, I wouldn't bother you with books that aren't the most interesting I've opened in years.


On Chesil Beach, by Ian McEwan

This author, Ian McEwan, was introduced to me by a professor at Samford. We spent most of our time in the English department reading classics, so Atonement, the first of McEwan's novels that I read, was change of scenery. I distinctly remember Dr. Johnson telling my class that McEwan was an author to watch. Since then I've bought everything I could find by this interesting author. Just like Atonement, On Chesil Beach was unlike any book I've read before. I hinted that I wanted to read this book for weeks and Ben listened. On our way to our honeymoon house in Seaside, Florida, my husband presented me with this book. Just let me say that, while I highly recommend this book, I do not highly recommend that you read it on your honeymoon or if you wouldn't be comfortable with a 200 page book devoted to the sexuality of one couple.

As I settled into my lounge chair for an afternoon in the sun, I read the first chapter to myself. Somewhere in that first chapter, I read an interesting sentence about the newlywed characters, Edward and Florence: "And they had so many plans, giddy plans, heaped up before them in the misty future, as richly tangled as the summer flora of the Dorset coast, and as beautiful." I read that sentence out loud to Ben because I was on my honeymoon, it reminded me of our own future, and it was beautifully written. Ben took the book out of my hands and read until he caught up with me.

Just like our own unknown future, Ben and I did not know what ending awaited Edward and Florence. With one copy between the two of us, we spent the week passing the book back and forth on the beach and reading to each other in bed. Even Harry Potter had to wait. This book will incite such provocative discussions, especially if you are married or in a serious relationship.

Although I hate to pull from the book cover, I must: "Ian McEwan has caught with understanding and compassion the innocence of Edward and Florence at a time when marriage was presumed to be the outward sign of maturity and independence. On Chesil Beach is another masterwork from McEwan--a story of lives transformed by a gesture not made or a word not spoken."

In what ways are we more mature and independent than couples from the 60s? In what ways have we grown--independently or sexually--in the last 50 years? If we communicate--and keep all parts of our relationship open to discussion--does that make us more mature than previous generations? Does our generation's liberation and consequent loss of innocence make all of this maturity and independence possible?

I guarantee you will ask, and try to answer, these questions (and more) as you read about Edward and Florence, the 1960s, and how family, friends, and culture influence relationships.


A Parchment of Leaves, by Silas House

Although Silas and I grew up in London, Kentucky, 5 years apart in school, we didn't meet until last year. Okay, okay, last year we didn't technically meet, but Silas came to our school and spoke to our seniors about writing, character development, and story telling. He didn't just speak to an auditorium of 18 year olds; I was also a changed woman.

The first Silas House novel I read was Clay's Quilt. Our seniors must read a novel by a Kentucky author (Barbara Kingsolver is another option), and I knew my students would love Clay's Quilt. The story didn't disappoint. Clay is a teenager growing up in Kentucky, listening to Bob Dylan, experimenting with drugs, alcohol, and sex. By the end of the book, he has found so much more than Dylan and teenage experimentation.

But the book that follows, A Parchment of Leaves, offers even more. Silas House knows Kentucky and character development and those two elements make a beautiful picture in the reader's mind. This is the story of Saul Sullivan and his new bride Vine. Let me just be honest--this book is all about Vine (which is why I still can't force Parchment on Ben). Vine is a young Native American who leaves her family's home for true love and the book follows her through the first 5 years or so of her marriage.

Vine has the most amazing ability to learn life lessons from every experience. She recognizes her family's influence over her early in life, she learns how to be a good wife and daughter-in-law (even though she is taken away from her childhood home), she learns what it means to be a true friend, a strong woman, and a gentle mother to their young daughter Birdie. She never gives up or walks away from those responsibilities.

I do not want to reveal too much of the plot because I don't want to ruin the twists and turns that House created for the Sullivans. Please read this book and then we can talk details, life-changing characters, and your new favorite author.

Vine is, without exaggeration, the most amazing female character I have ever read. This is the most beautiful story I have read in my entire life. I will shamelessly promote this book for the rest of my life. You must read every word.

Factslingin'

Last night, the Minnesota Vikings defeated the Green Bay Packers by a score of 30-23. Ho hum. What's that? Brett Favre played? FOR THE VIKINGS??! How did I not know of this startling development?!

In all seriousness, I doubt there's any way anyone missed the sports media's collective Favregasm leading up to last night's game. And, much to my chagrin, Favre played well--271 yards on 24 of 31 attempts, for three touchdowns. Lost in the hype is the fact that Aaron Rodgers also played well--384 yards on 26 of 37 attempts, for two touchdowns and one interception. If Rodgers hadn't been sacked eight times, this could have been a different game.

Even so, the media ignores Rodgers while continuing to sing Favre's hosannas. As I returned to the office from lunch at home, I listened to Colin Cowherd's radio show. Now, it's probably my fault for expecting actual sports insight from a paid ESPN analyst. But, Colin blew my mind by attempting to argue that the Green Bay Packers would have been better off with Favre last year. He said the Packers "may not have been 13-3 [as they were in 2007], but they would have been better than 6-10." Because, as we all know, Favre is capable of playing every position on the field and/or willing his teammates to be better. He could have shored up the shaky offensive line the nation saw on display last night. He could have played both sides of the ball and made damn sure that the defense wasn't one of the worst in the NFL last year. He could have returned punts and punted. Oh, yes, I almost forgot--HE COULD NOT HAVE DONE ANY OF THAT. The only thing Favre could have done is play quarterback to the best of his ability--and the best of his ability was not that great in 2008. Aaron Rodgers had a markedly better 2008 than did Favre:

Rodgers: 4038 yards, 63.6% completion rate, 28 touchdowns, 13 interceptions, 93.8 passer rating, 207 yards rushing, 4 rushing touchdowns, 10 fumbles

Favre: 3472 yards, 65.7% completion rate, 22 touchdowns, 22 interceptions, 81.0 passer rating, 43 yards rushing, 1 rushing touchdown, 10 fumbles

In other words, Favre completed a higher percentage of his passes but in every other metric performed worse than Rodgers. In other words, you would have to be a willfully blind fool to state that the Packers would have been better off with Favre than with Rodgers in 2008. This is objectively true. And it is (somewhat less) objectively true that Favre out-gunslung Rodgers last night. But subjective platitudes from the Colin Cowherds and Jon Grudens of the world--"He's just like a kid out there!" "He just wins games!" "He makes his teammates better!"--obscure the fact that there may, just may, be more involved in a typical game of football than whether or not your quarterback is a grizzled beard-havin' truck-drivin' blue jean-wearin' land-workin' salt-of-the-earth flat-out by-God winner.

As usual, I don't really have a point and should probably have used the time and energy it took to write this in my actual job.

UPDATE 10/8/09: The Onion gets in on the fun, and in a much better manner than I could ever muster.

Chris Rock on Roman Polanski

Chris Rock appeared on the Jay Leno Show last night and, like many right-thinking people in this world, was aghast that anyone would try, based upon his artistic merit, to defend Roman Polanski's actions in drugging and raping a thirteen year old girl. This just about sums it right up: "Even Johnnie Cochran didn't have the nerve to say, 'Yeah, but did you see O.J. play against New England?'"

My First Book Review

Ben and I are avid readers. We've packed our bookshelves--and stacked our floors--with beloved novels, biographies, poetry and even textbooks from which we couldn't part. I read at work, I read during summer break, I read on vacation. I read with Ben, I read to Ben, I read the same book as Ben at the same time. I read what my friends suggest and just to be cool (or lame if you ask Ben), I read what my students suggest.

As most of you know, I teach 10th grade English. Although my syllabus is filled with many "boring" classics, I teach a few things to those 10th graders that we all find interesting and compelling. If you aren't big on reading, try out these simple short stories. One, they're short, and two, tenth graders understand them! If you are a book lover, these are beautifully written, interesting, powerful, and all the other adjectives we use to describe the stories we love.

1. "The Pit and the Pendulum" (Edgar Allen Poe)--If you can get through the first few pages, this is a horrific story of torture during The Spanish Inquisition. The setting actually becomes an intense character that the reader follows with morbid curiosity. In 3 years, my students have NEVER predicted the ending.

2. "Every Day Use" (Alice Walker)--You know Walker as the author of The Color Purple. It's all here, too--the African-American-speak, the clash of modern vs. traditional ways of living, and the strong black woman. The conflict finally reveals to the reader which character is the strongest and proudest of all.

3. "Distillation" (Hugo Martinez-Serros)--This short story is so touching. We hear the basic premise of "Distillation" in many religious parables: a mother offers her child comforting love, a father provides a protective love for his children that can withstand any torture. But "Distillation" is raw. "Distillation" is painful. "Distillation" is not just a child looking up to his father. In one moment this child comes to the full realization of a father's power and protection, and ultimately love and sacrifice. Our narrator is never the same.