Hypothetical Hundreds

In my quest to be the best attorney in Lexington, if not the state of Kentucky, I read about ten sports blogs on a daily basis while at work. During the NFL season, most of them dedicate at least one column a week to betting the games. On Kissing Suzy Kolber, it’s called “Always Be Covering.” Bill Simmons and his wife pick games against the spread each week and keep a running tally—the joke being that his wife, knowing nothing about the NFL, does about the same as does Simmons, whose job it is to know about sports.

Reading these gambling missives, I’m always tempted by the thought, “Pfft, what a bunch of idiots. I could kill this. I could be Ghostface!”

LOOK AT ALL THAT MONEY AND THAT ASIAN CHICK OMG AND THAT CRAZY RING IT COULD ALL BE MINE HAHA THANKS NFL SUCKERS!...which is a dangerous road to go down without knowing if you could actually do it against a fickle point spread. So, last week, during the NFL Wild Card weekend, I decided to start keeping track, betting a fictional $100 per game, to see if I really had what it took to be the next Sam Rothstein. Here are my picks (home teams in caps)

1. Arizona Cardinals (+2) over ATLANTA FALCONS
2. Indianapolis Colts (-1) over SAN DIEGO CHARGERS
3. Baltimore Ravens (-3.5) over MIAMI DOLPHINS
4. Philadelphia Eagles (-3) over MINNESOTA VIKINGS

I probably violated every known gambling rule in the universe in making those picks. I can spot one right now—I bet against every home team and every divisional champ. But you know what? I came out 3-1. $400 wagered, $300 plus the three bets coming back, and just like that, I’ve got (an imaginary) $600! Add to that another $100 from the Florida/Oklahoma game, and I’ve almost doubled up in a week.

Here are the picks for this weekend’s divisional match-ups:

1. Baltimore Ravens (+3) over TENNESSEE TITANS
2. Arizona Cardinals (+10) over CAROLINA PANTHERS
3. PITTSBURGH STEELERS (-6) over SAN DIEGO CHARGERS
4. Philadelphia Eagles (+4) over NEW YORK GIANTS

Some bold picks there, if I do say so myself. No one likes Arizona on the road—with reason. But ten points is so tempting, and last week, Arizona manhandled the power run of Atlanta and have a power run to deal with in Carolina's offense. Well, I guess it’s one bold pick—the rest could go either way. But, then again, can't they all?

CURRENT RECORD

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