WTF, Tilly

The list of things Tilly has demolished since she began to "play"

A jar of moisturizer
An entire bottle of Cumin
My Calphalon pot holder
My favorite Calvin Klein flats*
A roll of grosgrain ribbon
An entire roll of wrapping paper
Two TV remotes
One Wii remote

I'm beginning to have terrible visions of Tilly chewing her way through my favorite things; furniture, books, wedding pictures. Seriously, what's next?









*I originally thought these were salvageable when Ben called to tell me Tilly chewed off "some of the leather" on the CK flats. I suggested covering up the "some" with black shoe polish. Ben's response: "I think our definition of 'some' might be different." Sure enough, Tilly had ripped huge strips of leather from the once-amazing shoe. I mean, these shoes went from black leather to white-cloth lining. I buried them last night.

Hypothetical Hundreds: C.R.E.A.M.

The divisional round of the NFL playoffs ended today and I'm proud to report that I correctly called every game. I started the weekend with (an imaginary) $700, and ended it with $1,100. Not too shabby! Take that, experts!

Hypothetical Hundreds

In my quest to be the best attorney in Lexington, if not the state of Kentucky, I read about ten sports blogs on a daily basis while at work. During the NFL season, most of them dedicate at least one column a week to betting the games. On Kissing Suzy Kolber, it’s called “Always Be Covering.” Bill Simmons and his wife pick games against the spread each week and keep a running tally—the joke being that his wife, knowing nothing about the NFL, does about the same as does Simmons, whose job it is to know about sports.

Reading these gambling missives, I’m always tempted by the thought, “Pfft, what a bunch of idiots. I could kill this. I could be Ghostface!”

LOOK AT ALL THAT MONEY AND THAT ASIAN CHICK OMG AND THAT CRAZY RING IT COULD ALL BE MINE HAHA THANKS NFL SUCKERS!...which is a dangerous road to go down without knowing if you could actually do it against a fickle point spread. So, last week, during the NFL Wild Card weekend, I decided to start keeping track, betting a fictional $100 per game, to see if I really had what it took to be the next Sam Rothstein. Here are my picks (home teams in caps)

1. Arizona Cardinals (+2) over ATLANTA FALCONS
2. Indianapolis Colts (-1) over SAN DIEGO CHARGERS
3. Baltimore Ravens (-3.5) over MIAMI DOLPHINS
4. Philadelphia Eagles (-3) over MINNESOTA VIKINGS

I probably violated every known gambling rule in the universe in making those picks. I can spot one right now—I bet against every home team and every divisional champ. But you know what? I came out 3-1. $400 wagered, $300 plus the three bets coming back, and just like that, I’ve got (an imaginary) $600! Add to that another $100 from the Florida/Oklahoma game, and I’ve almost doubled up in a week.

Here are the picks for this weekend’s divisional match-ups:

1. Baltimore Ravens (+3) over TENNESSEE TITANS
2. Arizona Cardinals (+10) over CAROLINA PANTHERS
3. PITTSBURGH STEELERS (-6) over SAN DIEGO CHARGERS
4. Philadelphia Eagles (+4) over NEW YORK GIANTS

Some bold picks there, if I do say so myself. No one likes Arizona on the road—with reason. But ten points is so tempting, and last week, Arizona manhandled the power run of Atlanta and have a power run to deal with in Carolina's offense. Well, I guess it’s one bold pick—the rest could go either way. But, then again, can't they all?

CURRENT RECORD

4-1

Tilly!

We love Tilly, the beautiful chocolate lab we adopted in July. When she first came to our home, she hid in corners, behind beds, and in the very back of her crate--every hiding place was an attempt to avoid affection. She couldn't do anything normally: walk, run, eat.

But since that time, Tilly really improved. She walks on a leash--or without a leash--outside, she runs on the golf course beside our house, and eats large amount of food. She's also comfortable enough to produce large shoestrings of drool in front of us. Although she's still a little nervous around company, the friends and family who frequently visit have definitely noticed an improvement.

Now, my Rupp loves to play. He plays fetch perfectly with the Kong or the Cuz. Sit, throw, return, repeat. Sometimes he'll mix it up by laying down for you. He's very impressive. He also loves soft toys. He latches on for dear life and falls asleep as he mimics a nursing kitten. Very adorable. We just couldn't get Tilly to play along; her instincts wouldn't kick in. Until now.

Well, Tilly learned to play. I'm just concerned about the things she wants to play with. Her first toy was a bottle of moisturizer. She unscrewed the lid, licked the contents clean, and chewed on the packaging until her gums bled. The other day, Tilly went after a container of Cumin. Yes, you read correctly. Silly Tilly must have been after the smell, because after she opened it up and poured it all over the living room floor, she didn't try any of the seasoning. She did destroy the plastic bottle. Today, Ben just informed me that Tilly tore apart my Calphalon pot holder.

I don't even know how to conclude this post. Suggestions? Even weirder pet stories? I doubt that's possible!

Update

The Grinch returned my ornaments!

A Grinch Stole My Christmas--Literally!

I refuse to turn into my friend Dana. I also refuse to let Ben take over this blog with only sports-related musings. I love sports (as much as the next girl), but our Christmas was almost ruined! Well, maybe just the decorating part of Christmas.

A few weeks ago, Ben ventured to the basement to fetch our Christmas decorations. Three huge boxes later, we were ready for set-up.

Large, pre-lit Christmas tree: check

Mini Christmas tree from college days: check

Garland: check

Nativity: check

Last year, Ben and I spent hours shopping for Christmas decorations. I was very specific about what I wanted in a tree: it needed to look very real (I have insane allergies that keep me from enjoying a real tree), it needed to be a particular shape to fill out a large corner in the living room, and it needed to be nice and tall. Well, we found the perfect tree. High five, Ben;)

The garland came from my mom's house. I can't remember if I asked permission to take it! Sorry, mom. It is lush, blends well with my tree, and is covered with mini pinecones. My mom is an amazing decorator and she has tons of Christmas decorations that she alternates each year. I think, at this point, she doesn't even realize the massive amounts of Christmas paraphernalia that fill her attic. I actually noticed yesterday that Carrie sneaked out with some old garland, too!

Now, my nativity scene is very important to me. It was a wedding present from our dear friends Emily and Greg, and her parents Doc and Mrs. Ruth. I love it; it made me feel very grown up to have my own nativity scene for our first (married) Christmas together.

What could be missing, you ask? Ornaments.

So, I sent Ben back to the basement. Nothing. So, I went down myself. Nothing. I tore the house apart, looking in every closet, box, and hiding place. Nothing. After a week of this exact same process, I called our landlord. In order to prepare for their expanding family, Will and his wife Georgiana recently moved from the apartment above us into a beautiful home. I just knew that our Christmas ornaments were sitting in a (labeled) box in his attic. Yep, you guessed it: nothing.

I know our ornaments came from Target or Garden Ridge, but there was a sentimentality attached to those ornaments. It took me weeks to get over the loss. Our tree stood bare in that perfect corner for the longest time. I refused to do anything about it--except send Ben back to the basement and harass Will by phone and text.

This week, my mom came to the rescue. She refused to let the tree stand empty for the entire holiday season. It's impossible to pout now--pictures to come!

Sports Epigraphs: Louisville Cardinals Men's Basketball

"Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall."
--Proverbs 16:18