Pat Forde--Pal to the Prosaic and Plastered Alike

Pat Forde has written an interesting article on what he calls "the cult of the coordinator." He makes some good points on what, perhaps irrationally, offensive and defensive signal-callers mean to today's college football fan. Around here, people are sure that Joker Phillips, UK's offensive coordinator, will lead Kentucky to breathe the rarefied air atop the SEC East, despite the fact that, just last season, made some truly indefensible play calls in winnable games (See Georgia, Mississippi State, and especially Tennessee in overtime). But it's one of the article's throwaway paragraphs that grabbed my attention:

"The cameras find [coordinators] routinely, whether on the sidelines or in the booth. It would be an absolute drunkfest if you played a drinking game tied to camera shots of coordinators wildly signaling plays by hand or furtively calling them into their headsets while covering their mouths with play sheets."

Pay attention, aspiring sports journalists. The article is well researched and written, peering into a recent sports trend with an inquisitive and skeptical eye, Forde playing the sports fan's Woodward. At the same time, he appeals to a core demographic of college football: drunken fools. Reading the article, it struck me that both sentiments appealed to me about equally. I wonder whether the sometimes exorbitant salaries college coordinators are paid today (Norm Chow is reportedly getting over $1 million a year as UCLA's offensive coordinator) really do translate into success on the field, when raw talent is at least equally responsible for a football team's success. At the same time, when I read the description of Forde's drinking game, my first thought was, "I wish I had thought of that about seven years ago." And now, planning the logistics of that game for the last Saturday in August, when Lynn will be out of the house for most of the day at a wedding shower, has quickly taken precedence over pondering the so-called cult of the coordinator.

UK's Chances

I've been trying to get Lynn to write something for a few days, but she refuses. I've been calling her Harper Lee for her extreme reticence, and you should too. I guess the heavy lifting is going to have to fall to me.

Summer sports are the worst. I have been looking forward to college football since the end of Euro 2008. College football is the Dude: it's the sport for its time and place. Baseball is, at best, Donny, and thus needs to shut the fuck up and get off my TV. Of course, this is just, like, you know, my opinion, man. Even if it's not fact, I still can't wait for the football season.

In Lexington, the approach of fall brings one burning question to the fore of every Kentucky fan's mind: how many games will the football team win? The most popular answers to that question are "Hopefully, enough to be bowl eligible," followed closely by "We have a football team?" My answer? SEVEN.

Games we are sure to win: (4)
Norfolk State, Middle Tennessee, Western Kentucky, Vanderbilt

I've just jinxed the team. We're going down.

Games we are sure to lose: (2)
Florida, Georgia

These two teams are first-class and one of them will be playing for the SEC Championship. Of the two, I think we have a better chance to beat Georgia. We play them at home, and it could be a trap game for them, falling between their games with Florida and Auburn.

Six close calls, of which we will win three:
Louisville, Alabama, South Carolina, Arkansas, Tennessee, Mississippi State

If I had to pick three of these, I'd say we will beat Louisville, South Carolina, and Mississippi State. If I could pick any one of these teams to beat, at the expense of losing three other games this season, it would have to be Tennessee. This is just getting embarrassing. Plus, now that Bruce Pearl is pulling all the tail that the southeast has to offer, we need to take them down a peg or two. Hell, though, we might just win all six. Look out, BCS!

So, we'll make it back to seven regular season wins, then brutalize another unsuspecting ACC powder puff in the Music City Bowl, then go into next season with the national media predicting a three-win season. Again.

I'm Going to be a Father...

...to a three year old chocolate lab.


We're adopting her from a Lab rescue here in Lexington. I'm going to re-name her, though. I would name her after Coach Rupp, but she's a girl, Rupp is taken and I can't imagine walking down the street calling for Adolph. Not really sure why, just a feeling I have. Here are the names I've been thinking about:

1. Little Jerry Seinfeld
2. Dude
3. Maggie
4. Dethklok
5. Bear

And we got a grill yesterday. I'm well on my way to becoming a red-blooded American.

UPDATE July 15, 2008. We got the dog yesterday and decided to name her Tilly.